Disappointment

This day of the year is always a difficult one for me. Even if I have fun things planned, I always seem to approach the day with an impassive attitude that is often prevailed by a pervasive sense of mortality and general gloominess. Today was no different, despite being in a place where I feel most at home.

The overarching theme of this blog though is one of disappointment, on a day already fraught with the blues. I seem to deal with this issue a lot in my life, something to do with my "high expectations" of people and situations. I've mentioned this character flaw of mine previously, but you see, the thing is that I don't think I have high expectations. I think my expectations are quite realistic and attainable. It's really quite simple - if you say you're going to be there, be there. If you say you're going to do something, do it. I'm not so naive as to believe that emergencies never prevent even the most well-intentioned plans from being realized, but whatever happened to the golden rule? It almost seems like a foreign concept, a concept that in yesteryear was not only a norm but almost a requisite for social behavior.

Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of the people closest to me letting me down. Perhaps selfish of me, but when you only get to see me a few times a year, shouldn't you do everything you can to see me, come hell or high water...maybe that's just me and the people that I care about, but if I agreed to see a friend of mine weeks in advance, I can assure you that I would be there and at the time agreed upon, probably earlier.

On a much lighter note, I received an early Christmas gift this week, an actual phone call from my Caribbean friend. It was so unexpected, and isn't that the best type of gift there is?! Conversations with him are always so comfortable and easy, and I can't help to be transported right back to the island of sun, right where my heart belongs. Maybe the rest of me can meet my heart there someday...