The S Factor

Attended one of the most amazing concerts last night, but it created a perpetual mood of melancholy at the same time. In this reflective atmosphere, I had all of these thoughts shooting in and out of the recesses of my brain, and ironically, most of it centered on the letter 'S,' so I thought I would entitle today's blog as such.

I'm Scared. I chose to make some Statements last night that simply cannot be taken back. I pondered heavily on the possible outcomes of making such proclamations, and I knew I was making the right decision. But the right decision isn't always the one that I want to choose, and as the day wanes on and I have not yet received any response in regard to one of the messages, my heart grows more and more weary.

At the end of the day, I want a last call. I want someone who wants to make me an integral part of his life. I want someone to Share my Secrets with, to cherish them, and hold them close. I want someone to Stay when everyone else leaves. And above all, I want to feel Significant when really we are all just insignificant creatures floating on life's path.

I would be remiss if I did not divulge that my Caribbean boyfriend has intermittently appeared in my life recently. Of course not physically, yet his words, his disposition have come back into play in a most profound way. Someone to truly, deeply understand me, that which we are all looking for. And I need to know if Lizard can do that with me...it's the not knowing that is consuming me.