Integrity

What do you do when you have lost trust in someone? Can you gain it back? Is it even possible?

I recently posted a blog about trust, an outward reflection of some inner demons I have been struggling with in my personal life. My boyfriend, Superman, has challenged my trust recently, and I don't know who or what to believe. My heart wants desperately for him to be the loving, caring person he's portrayed himself to be, but my intuition is yelling at me. Something just isn't right, and I can't put my finger on it.

Everyone always automatically assumes infidelity, but in this case, I just don't believe that. It's more of an inability on his part to trust me with his life, to make me a focal point, to include me. I just want to feel a part of all that's important to him, and I don't feel that way. Perhaps it takes time. Perhaps our feelings for one another have moved more quickly than our relationship is able to keep up with. Perhaps there are things I just don't understand. The questioning can eat you alive.

The crossroads. Once the waiting is over, and you've come to a time for decision making, what do you do? Do you travel forward together, or do you say that it's time to part and keep the memories? What about the expanse between the extremes? Is it ok to still be unsure, knowing there are so many things you value and appreciate about this person in your life, but not knowing about the uncertainty? Here's putting my heart out there yet again to try...praying he is the man of integrity I want him to be.

Today's selection has become a personal favorite: Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars