Going It Alone versus Coupling

As you know, 2018 produced some big changes in my life; well, one noteworthy update at least! With public knowledge of my nuptials came congratulatory comments from friends, a few very surprised gasps from acquaintances, as well as some eventual hateful rhetoric from an ex-lover.

"Even in 2018, a woman who isn't married by a certain age or who has chosen not to have children...is still an object of some curiosity. Even today, the assumption isn't necessarily that she made a choice; often, it's that she was somehow left behind....But the dirty little secret...it's kind of awesome." -Stephanie Zacharek

For the record, though getting married wasn't something I needed in my life to feel complete, I absolutely do not recall ever having stated I was never getting married. But, he's an ex for a reason, and as I look toward a new year, I (and only I) get to choose whom I keep in my life and whom I don't.

Fare Thee Well by Marcus Mumford & Oscar Isaac

On Tolerance

This is a repost from an excerpt that appeared in Time last year. I felt it was even more relevant this year and as we look toward a new year, perhaps we can all try to better understand the plight of the oppressed and how we either contribute to or help alleviate their circumstances.

We often hear about how we need to be more tolerant: to make room for people, ideas and actions with which we may not agree. This is a prerequisite for a functional democracy. But tolerance alone is not sufficient; it allows us to accept others without engaging with them, to feel smug and self-satisfied without challenging the boundaries within which too many of us live. A society worthy of our ideals would be a much more inclusive one, a more integrated one. Our first national motto was e pluribus unum, "out of many, one." Under this framework, building tolerance is a worthy way station to a much grander destination of inclusion. This is a journey that is in our power as a nation to make.

I worry that for all of the progress we have made, we are stuick int he purgatory of tolerance - on race, on LGBTQ rights, on women's equality. We have of late seen evidence of a great racial divide that remains and in some ways even appears to be expanding. While tragedies like the high-profile shootings of African Americans at the hands of law enforcement get a lot of deserved attention, these are symptoms of a much deeper problem. We are still largely segregated as a society, and our political divisions increasingly fall along the lines of race. Inclusion, not assimilation, should be the key concept in seeking, ever seeking, a more perfect national union."

-Dan Rather

Joy

Joy. It's such a simple word, yet so many work their entire lives to achieve even a glimpse of pure and unadulterated joy. As I creep ever closer to another decade of my life, I can honestly say that I'm happier now than I was 10 or even 20 years ago. Loving yourself - your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures, and your decisions and "better choices" are all a part of the joy journey. In this holiday season, don't let someone steal your joy. Let him/her go. Spend your energy on people who bring joy to your life, not rob you of it. You're old enough to get to decide who you spend your time with.

Stoking the Embers

A campfire can lie dormant for hours, even days, until something comes along and prods it just enough to stoke the waning embers. I think that's how the phrase "rekindling an old flame" was born.

It's unbelievably unsettling how a simple text, phone call, or facebook message can evoke feelings that have lain dormant for years. The long forgotten passion flares up with an eager vengeance, capitalizing on lost time and overtaking any semblance of common sense. The flame is all-consuming; the intensity of the heat scorching. So how do you keep from getting burned?

And is there a more appropriate song for that very feeling than Set the Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol?

Adventure #51: Matrimony

When I began this blog SEVEN years ago, I had no idea what my future held. No one ever does (and isn't that just the greatest thing?!). I simply wanted a creative outlet to relay my ideas, thoughts, and (most importantly) adventures as a single woman in her 30's trying to live her best life.

Well, one of the biggest adventures of my life occurred recently, and I wanted to let you all in on my secret. Sh!

I got married.