Fractures

Yesterday was supposed to be a BIG DAY, a VERY big day. It was supposed to be a memorable, unforgettable 24 hours. And it was; it forever will be...but not because it was a good day. Instead, it was a very BAD DAY. And I'll never have another chance to live that day, and that reality is suffocating me today, the day after such a very BAD DAY.

It's Alright by Fractures because it's really not...alright, that is.

"Too"

What led me to where I am? How did I get here? What choices along the way were most impactful...for better or worse?

I've been thinking of people, the people who are no longer in my life, but really impacted the trajectory. I would be remiss to say that it's just life, that people come and go, but in reality, it's me. I'm hard. I'm difficult. I'm complicated. And truthfully, I'm not for everyone.

Sometimes that is a bitter pill to swallow. At my core, I want to be liked. Doesn't everyone? But even deeper is an instinct to question, challenge, and push...and in the end, one of us usually walks away.

I would like to believe that they knew it wasn't negligence or apathy that dissolved the relationship, that it wasn't meanness or cruelty that caused them pain. It may be too little, too late, but I am who who I am and I've done what I've done because I'm all heart. I care too deeply, love too hard, want too much. It's the best and worst of me.