Monday, January 25, 2016
Commute Ponderings
My new job requires a much longer commute, and as such, I am resigned to find ways to pass the time. While my evening journey revolves around phone conversations with my mother, my morning commute centers upon NPR, and I have quickly become a David Greene groupie. Most mornings are a tug-of-war with my heart and sometimes even my soul. I'm either enraged at some recent atrocity our "best country in the world" has committed - see deported vets or medical insurance - or reminded that there is still hope in humankind during the weekly StoryCorps segment - see Real Men Cry or HIV. As Kate DiCamillo notes, "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." Regardless, it's one intensely amazing way to pass the time.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Event Planning Guru
Nothing drives me crazier than an event that is poorly planned and poorly managed. Having a job that requires expertise in event planning makes every event I attend an agonizing expose on everyone else's inability to properly plan and execute. If I feel bad for myself, I feel worse for any comrades that join me for such events, as I am never without comment or complaint.
A Beautiful Nightmare: Saying Goodbye
I attempted to write this post a few weeks ago, and the words just wouldn't come. Today, that has all changed. I can't type nearly as fast as my brain wants me to.
I had a dream last night, a nightmare to some, but either way, I now have the most serene peace about me.
Every winter break, I head home for the holidays. Home is, as you know, in a very small town in another state from the one in which I now reside. For the first time in 12 years, I had not been home since the previous winter break. I was of course reminded of the need for a holiday survival guide, but more importantly and perhaps ironically, I was confronted with the realization that everything in that small town isn't so bad after all.
I was blown away by one thing in particular during this recent trip home: family that are friends and friends that are family. Sometimes in a small town, those lines are more blurred than anywhere else.
I want to tell you a story. A story of a nondescript girl who grew up in a less than perfect home with a less than perfect family. Sounds like a typical coming of age story, right? Well, this one was probably less than perfect in more ways than the norm, and there were many, many secrets which this girl carried. At the age of 13, a boy came into her life, quite unexpectedly. He would be what most would call from the "other side of the tracks," but he was extremely attractive and the potential conquest of many of the other schoolgirls. This girl, however, had never given him a second glance...until he expressed interest in her, that is. At first, this plain girl was truly baffled by his attention. What could he possibly see in her? But, over time, she lessened her defenses and let him in...into her heart. He was a place of solace in a world not often forgiving. And then one day, he kissed her, and she knew true passion for the first time.
Fast forward twenty years. The girl has grown up and learned to lay to rest the demons that once plagued her, and the boy has become a father. Much like the first time he came into her life, he once again negotiated his way into hers. She was quickly reminded of how she had once felt saved by him, and though no longer in need of saving, she was wooed by his charm and compassion. The boy from the "other side of the tracks" was no longer just that.
As with most of the stories in this woman's life, this one is not without complication. Throughout their renewed relationship, the man continued his relationship with his child's mother, despite wanting something different for himself, and in the end, he decided to let the woman from his childhood go. Selfishly, when he reached out to her months later, expressing his true feelings about the situation, she was still too wound up in her own pain to respond. A decision she would come to regret in ways unfathomable.
You see, this man was taken from this earth much too soon. On a random day in the spring of 2013, he was involved in a vehicular accident that resulted in his death. Unable to previously come to terms with the many secrets of this story, she was finally able to visit him during this recent trip home. It was a much needed experience but still did not provide the closure for which I had yearned. (Of course, this story, like all of my blog, is about me.)
Last night, though, in my sleep, he came to me as clear as day. And I told him: "I don't care if you don't love me; just don't leave me." It was a nightmare, but I didn't want to wake up. I felt as though I was right where I was always meant to be, since that first time he kissed me on a school bus during a class field trip. Goodbye, and thank you for loving me.
Hello by Adele - what else?!
I had a dream last night, a nightmare to some, but either way, I now have the most serene peace about me.
Every winter break, I head home for the holidays. Home is, as you know, in a very small town in another state from the one in which I now reside. For the first time in 12 years, I had not been home since the previous winter break. I was of course reminded of the need for a holiday survival guide, but more importantly and perhaps ironically, I was confronted with the realization that everything in that small town isn't so bad after all.
I was blown away by one thing in particular during this recent trip home: family that are friends and friends that are family. Sometimes in a small town, those lines are more blurred than anywhere else.
I want to tell you a story. A story of a nondescript girl who grew up in a less than perfect home with a less than perfect family. Sounds like a typical coming of age story, right? Well, this one was probably less than perfect in more ways than the norm, and there were many, many secrets which this girl carried. At the age of 13, a boy came into her life, quite unexpectedly. He would be what most would call from the "other side of the tracks," but he was extremely attractive and the potential conquest of many of the other schoolgirls. This girl, however, had never given him a second glance...until he expressed interest in her, that is. At first, this plain girl was truly baffled by his attention. What could he possibly see in her? But, over time, she lessened her defenses and let him in...into her heart. He was a place of solace in a world not often forgiving. And then one day, he kissed her, and she knew true passion for the first time.
Fast forward twenty years. The girl has grown up and learned to lay to rest the demons that once plagued her, and the boy has become a father. Much like the first time he came into her life, he once again negotiated his way into hers. She was quickly reminded of how she had once felt saved by him, and though no longer in need of saving, she was wooed by his charm and compassion. The boy from the "other side of the tracks" was no longer just that.
As with most of the stories in this woman's life, this one is not without complication. Throughout their renewed relationship, the man continued his relationship with his child's mother, despite wanting something different for himself, and in the end, he decided to let the woman from his childhood go. Selfishly, when he reached out to her months later, expressing his true feelings about the situation, she was still too wound up in her own pain to respond. A decision she would come to regret in ways unfathomable.
You see, this man was taken from this earth much too soon. On a random day in the spring of 2013, he was involved in a vehicular accident that resulted in his death. Unable to previously come to terms with the many secrets of this story, she was finally able to visit him during this recent trip home. It was a much needed experience but still did not provide the closure for which I had yearned. (Of course, this story, like all of my blog, is about me.)
Last night, though, in my sleep, he came to me as clear as day. And I told him: "I don't care if you don't love me; just don't leave me." It was a nightmare, but I didn't want to wake up. I felt as though I was right where I was always meant to be, since that first time he kissed me on a school bus during a class field trip. Goodbye, and thank you for loving me.
Hello by Adele - what else?!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)