I realize it's been a long time since my last post, but I wanted to give at least a brief update to The S Factor.
As you can probably surmise from this post's title, I do indeed have a BF. Or maybe a bf would be more applicable at the current junction. Over the ensuing weeks following said 'S'-ness, Lizard and I have had many conversations, including one as recent as this morning, in regard to the status of our feelings for and our relationship with one another. And in the end, he simply wants to "be with me." "Us" may not be traditional or customary, but it is "us" after all. And if I could just sit back (or dance as the case may be) and relax, I would be able to simply enjoy all that entails.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
The S Factor
Attended one of the most amazing concerts last night, but it created a perpetual mood of melancholy at the same time. In this reflective atmosphere, I had all of these thoughts shooting in and out of the recesses of my brain, and ironically, most of it centered on the letter 'S,' so I thought I would entitle today's blog as such.
I'm Scared. I chose to make some Statements last night that simply cannot be taken back. I pondered heavily on the possible outcomes of making such proclamations, and I knew I was making the right decision. But the right decision isn't always the one that I want to choose, and as the day wanes on and I have not yet received any response in regard to one of the messages, my heart grows more and more weary.
At the end of the day, I want a last call. I want someone who wants to make me an integral part of his life. I want someone to Share my Secrets with, to cherish them, and hold them close. I want someone to Stay when everyone else leaves. And above all, I want to feel Significant when really we are all just insignificant creatures floating on life's path.
I would be remiss if I did not divulge that my Caribbean boyfriend has intermittently appeared in my life recently. Of course not physically, yet his words, his disposition have come back into play in a most profound way. Someone to truly, deeply understand me, that which we are all looking for. And I need to know if Lizard can do that with me...it's the not knowing that is consuming me.
I'm Scared. I chose to make some Statements last night that simply cannot be taken back. I pondered heavily on the possible outcomes of making such proclamations, and I knew I was making the right decision. But the right decision isn't always the one that I want to choose, and as the day wanes on and I have not yet received any response in regard to one of the messages, my heart grows more and more weary.
At the end of the day, I want a last call. I want someone who wants to make me an integral part of his life. I want someone to Share my Secrets with, to cherish them, and hold them close. I want someone to Stay when everyone else leaves. And above all, I want to feel Significant when really we are all just insignificant creatures floating on life's path.
I would be remiss if I did not divulge that my Caribbean boyfriend has intermittently appeared in my life recently. Of course not physically, yet his words, his disposition have come back into play in a most profound way. Someone to truly, deeply understand me, that which we are all looking for. And I need to know if Lizard can do that with me...it's the not knowing that is consuming me.
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