Update: Convictions

My last post was a passionate piece, as many of my ramblings tend to be. I desperately wish that today's update from that reflection featured a changing tide in the hypocrisy, but alas, that would be too fantastical for such a time of realism. The truth is that people are just people. Some are 'better' than others, but at the end of it all, I cannot change them. I cannot make them better than they are. I can only hope, and I can only take responsibility for putting them on pedestals where they never should have been in the first place.

This post isn't about hope for them; it's more about hope for myself. Hope that my convictions will wield a changing tide for myself. We all have moments in our past where we know without a shadow of a doubt that our tide turned...for better or for worse. If I were to predict the future, though of course I cannot, I would know that this moment of time in my life will be one of those tide-turning occasions. It's waiting out the tide that can be so grueling, but there's undeniable hope for a better future on the other side.

#notayeswoman

If you knew me (though it's probably easy to guess from my posts), you would understand how vehemently I hate 'hashtag' anything. Twitter and all of its constituents can bite me. It's a pound sign. End of story.

Ok, not the end of the story. What's with today's topic title? It's simple and complex at the same time. Imagine that? Yet, it's the moral of my story for the moment.

I.Am.Not.A.Yes.Woman. I am a woman, yes, but a yes woman, I am not. I do not say yes because you ask me to. I do not say yes because you ask me not to. I do and will only say yes when I am convicted to do so.

I am appalled by your lack of integrity, but more importantly, I am reflectively disappointed in my own character flaws, predominantly the inability to have seen who you really are prior to now.

So, when someone asks me why my attitude is unwelcoming and unhelpful, don't be confused. It has nothing to with a lack of desire or will; it's simply that I can't say yes for the sake of saying yes. I'm not you, and thank God for that.