Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Whole Truth

I realize that I have not been blogging as often, but I'm truthfully not sure as to the reason(s) for that. I wish that I could say that I have been living life instead of writing about it, but I'm not sure that's the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

A few nights ago, I met a young man while out dancing with some friends. Par for the course of me meeting someone new, he was beyond excited to spend time with me, not even wanting to wait 24 hours to see me again! He was persistent, super sweet, and genuinely engaged. So, last night we met up for the second time, and the evening began superbly. Our chemistry is off-the-charts, and his intelligence and worldliness are extremely attractable qualities. However, the evening certainly did not end the way that I had envisioned. Instead of looking forward to another evening with him in the future, I find myself telling him this morning that it was a pleasure meeting him and expressing regret at not being on the same page.

You see, the problem is that I am emotionally connected to him, beyond the physical and mental connection, and yet again, despite indications to the contrary, he is only "physically" interested. So, this morning, I am left feeling sad, disappointed, and hopeless. It will pass, this I know, as I know the ebb and flow of the tide is constant...sometimes too constant, as it would be really nice to have something that lasts for more than a day or two...

On another note, my Caribbean boyfriend has actually disappeared into the sea. He has taken a job off the island for an extended period of time, and I have no contact with him. Beyond the uneasiness about my upcoming trip, I desperately miss our chats, the constant guidance and stability he provides me. Despite the distance, I have grown to count on him for most things reflective, and not having him available is crushing.

That's the truth, the whole truth, at least the truth for the day.

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