Closure - For Better or For Worse?

Closure. What is it? Why is it important? Why is it more important to some of us than others? For me, it's about finality, being able to move on due to having learned from the past, and having as much information as possible about why something ended the way it did. For me, there are never too many questions or too many answers.

A few months ago, I met a man, and silly me, I got excited about him. Why, you ask? Because he looked good on paper and felt good to touch. LOL Type is of no relevance to me, and I date a wide variety and myriad of men, I'm not ashamed to say. I think it only adds to the complexity that is me.

Well, this man in particular checked off a lot of my boxes...if I actually had boxes to check off! But it wasn't meant to be, I suppose, and in the end, I realized that he only wanted a physical relationship. However, he was never clear about his intentions, which would have been the "adult" thing to do. In all honesty, I didn't know this man well enough to know whether I wanted a relationship beyond friends with him, but I was disappointed in not having the opportunity to find that out.

So a few nights ago, I get a text from him - an apology, no less. What?! I hadn't heard from him in over a month. An apology that late in the game...is it truly for the person you're apologizing to or really just for yourself? For me, the gesture only brought up the bad feelings and hurt that I experienced because of the situation. Perhaps he needed closure? But instead of trying to clarify things, which would have been more understandable to me, it came across as superficial and selfish. And, seriously, was there really anything to "close"? LOL

There are also the relationships and situations where sufficient closure is never gained. Is it more difficult to garner the lessons that must be learned? Does it make it harder to move on, to find peace? To fully disclose, I have some people in my life where I don't want closure. A part of me, I suppose, would like to believe that the hope and possibility of having another chapter(s) with said person still exists...sometimes an end is more of a comma rather than a period.

My advice - be as open and honest as you can with others about your own personal feelings. Understand and appreciate that people have different ways of processing and expressing thoughts and emotions. Care enough about someone to recognize that their needs sometimes must outweigh yours. Be willing to give and accept closure if and when needed.