Though the hurt remains starkly indicative of the realization that lives have changed beyond our grasp, I guess sometimes the relationship, the beings it entangles, makes the transgression worth forgiving, even if forgetting is out of the question. The events are all connected, creating the tapestry that we call life.
I've often heard religious and spiritual followers refer to the complexities of good and evil in the world as a tapestry, a beautiful piece of fabric flowing and flawless on one side, yet a tangled mess of yarn and knots on the other. It is ugly and seemingly unfinished from below, but from above, well, it's a masterpiece. This analogy has stuck with me over the years, and I guess it's what I'd like to believe the Great Master (or whomever you so choose) had in mind when creating this world we call planet earth.
But how do you reconcile all the ugliness among the beauty? With the knowledge that things will never be the same or as you'd like them to be, how do you make sense of it all? It's easy to say that we're not created to know the answers, but how do I live the life I was meant to live if I don't know the answers? I refuse to believe in my heart that it's so haphazard. And at the core of my soul, that sentiment makes me me.
And in my world where I always feel as though every one thinks I've changed so much from the girl I once was, there is one who thinks I haven't changed at all, that I'm every bit as perfect as I've ever been...and what a small miracle that is to hear! Someone who knows and loves me for my hot ice cream, someone who can wound my soul only because I suppose I've always loved him in a way.
And in case you're wondering, although I have no idea WHO I'm going to marry, I do want to one day get married. And yes, I know what I want our first song to be...enjoy!
Beautiful by Me'shell Ndegeocello
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