For Better or For Worse

I have not been completely honest with you. I have been dealing with a few health issues as of late, and though I am hopeful that things will turn out fine, I would be remiss to say that I am not scared. 

We take for granted that those who love us will indeed be there for us "for better or for worse" and "in sickness and in health." But what do you do when you realize that's not the case? The easy answer is you walk away, but I just.cannot.seem.to.do.just.that. I do believe in my heart that Superman loves me (yeah, yeah, yeah), but I know he will never love me...enough. My head has known this for a long time, but my heart just will not for the life of me get on the same page. Disgustingly, it will catch up to my very intelligent brain, just to fall again...and again...and again. Argh!

But something profound happened this morning (I hope). Maybe, just maybe, I finally saw him in a different light. Now, don't get your hopes up too much. This doesn't mean that I am completely ready to remove him from my life (yeah, yeah, yeah), but at least I saw him a bit differently today. Not only does my head not want to be with him, but my heart doesn't either. 

Several months ago, I posted about the list of qualities I wanted/needed in a romantic partner. Well, one of them is certainly not rocket science. I want a man who falls in love with the smiles, with the laughs, but I need a man who stays around for the tears and the fears, too. A man who is indeed strong enough to handle all 50 shades of me.

I've also previously referenced the novel, Love Walked In, and I felt that another quote from that book was apt for this post.

"For all our talk, all our exchanges, we never handed over anything of real importance. We were all laughter and lightness and glow. We liked each other till the cows came home, but I never saw his broken places, nothing soft or stinging or half healed-over. He'd never seen mine, either. And I decided that [true love] wasn't possible without that kind of knowledge."