Sex, Lies, and Videotape

This post is NOT about sex or videotape, but I got your attention, right?! What it is about, though, is lying, and particularly the vast haziness that covers the expanse among an outright lie, a partial truth, and full disclosure.

I am open, honest, and upfront...to a fault, but quite frankly, I don't understand why everyone is not like me.

Recently, my Caribbean friend dropped a bombshell on me...the dreaded "I have a secret" and "I've been wanting to tell you for a long time." In the end, his secret is probably not that earth-shattering, but that's not the point. The point is that I open my heart and pour everything out of it for you; why can't/won't you do the same for me? Secrets have no place in my world and certainly not in my heart. Why would you want someone to fall for or even simply like a partial or fake version of you, when most of the time, the real version of you is a much better one?

And is there really a difference between a lie and a secret? The impetus for the problems in my last relationship were a direct output of a huge secret in his life, one that he so eloquently chose to wait 6 weeks in which to tell me. In hindsight, had he told me the first night, I probably would have still entered into a relationship with him. There are times, as in both of these cases, where lies are said to protect people, sometimes from real danger. My question is why I seem to meet a disproportionate amount of men that fall into this category!

Furthermore, it's a lot like closure - sometimes it only makes the one saying it feel better, not the one receiving it. That's what I've thought a lot about over the past few days - at this point, his "secret" doesn't change the past or my feelings for him; it only serves the purpose of making me feel stupid and him look untrustworthy. Maybe some things are just better left not known, you know? And, yes, my naivete is astounding, but it makes me sad to know that trust has to be earned rather than assumed.