People often confuse the two. They are not to be confused. Being alone does not mean being lonely, and being lonely doesn't mean you're alone. You can be lonely in a room full of people, and you can be alone and be completely satisfied. What I've learned though is that I don't make myself feel lonely, other people do. Or, as my Caribbean boyfriend so eloquently or not so eloquently says, I allow other people to make me feel lonely.
I'm lonely. Not all of the time; not even most of the time. I'd like to believe not even sometimes; hopefully only once in a while. But once in a while, I am. Lonely, that is. What makes me lonely? Nine times out of ten it's broken promises or expectations. Plans that don't pan out. An agreement that's broken. Spoken, or even unspoken, truths falsified. And sorry doesn't right the wrong. It never has.
Some people say I'm strong. Whether or not I agree, I'm not strong enough to not be lonely sometimes. Tonight, I'm lonely. And I know it won't be the last time. More than anything, I'd like someone, anyone, to tell me that I won't ever have to be lonely again. But then we'd have more broken promises, wouldn't we?
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