Sadness

I choreographed my very first dance piece when I was 15 years old. It was a modern interpretive piece to Sadness by Enigma. Total shocker, I know. Not much has changed in 15+ years. Well, maybe it has, depending upon whom you ask.

I have another confession to make. Sometimes, I overreact. Again, shocking, I know. Seriously, though, awareness is the first step to recovery. Unfortunately, I can never seem to get beyond step one. What triggers the overreaction, you ask? A myriad of things, I suppose. A response. A non-response. A situation. A suggestion. A judgment. The problem is that it depends predominantly on 2 things: 1) my current mood and 2) what else is going on in my life at that precise moment in time. If I'm already struggling with something, and another event compounds it, that is typically when I may overreact to something. Interestingly, emergencies and more serious events don't exactly stymie me. Rather, it's typically things that most people might consider mundane. Difficult at best, I know.

Getting worked up over things that should just roll off my back is sometimes a reflection of past experiences, even if that doesn't necessarily seem fair. As I've mentioned previously, we bring everything from our past into our present, even if our intention is different.

I haven't talked about my biggest fears in life very much, though I'm sure I'll get there. It's hard to admit to yourself what you're scared of the most, much more so to shout it out publicly. Well, here goes nothing: I'm scared people will leave me like my father did. Whether physically or emotionally, even if it's for the best, it doesn't matter; I don't like when people leave...me. Abandonment issues, there's always that. How cliche! LOL

So maybe my sadness is a bit much at times, but it makes me who I am, one facet of all of me.

And in honor of this occasion, I'd like to dedicate a song that I think sums up men and women fairly well: Give Me One Reason by Tracy Chapman. 'Nuff said.